2014 in review, and thoughts about life

// January 1st, 2015 // Writings

(scroll down to skip boring statistics and jump to Trikoot’s special rant about life!)

In 2014, I visited 12 foreign cities, which are, in alphabetical order: Basel, Berlin (3 times), Dresden, London (2 times), Los Angeles, Manchester, Munich, Norwich, Oslo, San Diego, Vienna, and Zürich. I had a total of 65 foreign travel days.

Summer 2014 saw me getting my motorcycling (class A) license, and immediately afterwards my first motorcycle, a Yamaha FZ6-S. I spent the summer riding as much as I could, racking up approximately 9000 km (5600 miles).

During 2014 I refurnished my playroom. I constructed my own bondage chair, made out of wood, and expanded the steel bondage frame already present in the room.

For 2015, I have the following goals:
* Complete the three-phase training required to get a car (class B) license.
* Do a motorcycling trip abroad, probably in Central/Southern Europe.
* Visit Berlin for Easter and Folsom Europe
* Improve my motorcycling skills with a few track days
* Construct the first, actually working version of a microprosessor-controlled breath control machine
* Finish my Master’s degree.

On a more personal note–and part of my ongoing midlife crisis–I’ve had to repeatedly think about the relationships in my life with my friends. For the past year I have tried to emphasise quality over quantity when it comes to having meaningful relationships in my life. It seems that a lot of my friends seem to be contempt with having numerous acquaintances, with whom occasional pleasantries and a beer can be shared, but with whom there is no deeper connection. A year ago I decided not to prioritize relationships with people with whom I cannot connect on a deeper level, as I find such relationships relatively meaningless. I have done my best to attempt this connection with everyone who comes across my path, sometimes rather fast, but too often unsuccessfully.

But this is not to say say, as once again too many do, that there is something inherently wrong in the world or other people. I believe partly in existentialism, especially because I believe that there is no inherent meaning in life, except that which we decide to create ourselves. I believe that the map is not the territory, and that the only meaning of communication is the response you get. It would be foolish to imply that most people lack the capacity for human connection, which is why I have concluded that my current approach is not perfect.

While I use the word “relationship” here to refer to any connection I have with other people, the big question of that one special one has not escaped my mind. As I see friends finding— and losing— their special ones, the superficial part in me silently congratulates himself for evading the huge emotional impact you expose yourself to by engaging in courtship. The statistician in me notes— rather dryly— that, considering the size of my target group, and my rather high expectations, there is practically no chance for finding someone to fit that mold. The responsible adult in me notes that I should not experiment with things like these, for the risk of hurting other people is too great. The Eckhart Tolle in me notes — peacefully — that any feelings of incompleteness are unnecessary.

I do not expect to find answers any time soon.

The next post will probably have rubbery bondage pictures, like usual.

  • whitty

    everything will find away, when all hope is gone.

  • Pareng Manotelli

    Wow, that’s really meaningful sharing. So basically what is your current job in 2016